Wed 7 Feb 2007
I had grand plans for this year’s Guac Bowl. My wasabi guacamole was going to herald in a new era of ethnic-fusion guac for Guac Bowl participants, then, the world! People would proclaim my genius! Ask for the recipe! Give me a show on The Food Network! But, alas, things did not go according to plan.
While practicing for the premier guacamole competition in the world, I attempted my “Turning Guacanese” guacamole with various types of wasabi: a wasabi paste from a tube, a wasabi powder, a wasabi-and-balsamic-reduction and that Play-Doh-like wasabi clump that comes with sushi. I determined the latter produced the best wasabi flavor–less-preservative-y than the tube, less heinous smelling than the powder, not as outrageously potent as the reduction. First-place glory seemed near!
Sunday morning I arose, made my guac without incident (unlike last year), but little did I know, the wheels of disaster were already in motion–competitors with similar wasabi guac foresight and a lust for victory were making their guac as I made mine! Unknowing, I went to my old neighborhood of Atwater Village for Adam’s annual Guac Bowl and set up shop with my very zen-looking entry, which Tim said would win “Classiest” if there were such a category. There is not.
I look so hopeful.
The entries trickled in: “Guactopus” had impressive homemade ceramic tendrils groping from the guac, frozen savory “Guacsicles” were disgusting, the “Walking Talking Guac King” featured a live little boy threatening to cry if you didn’t vote for Adam’s guac, which was attached to the child’s head by way of a sombrero. There were, in fact, numerous entries, but most rather complicated to describe, so please check them out here.
The guacs kept coming, and then, disaster struck! In walked Lauren and Dave with “Domo Ariguaco, Mr. Roboto,” featuring both a braver dose of wasabi than my timid attempt AND pickled ginger. You could smell the defeat in the air. Or maybe that was just the guac.
Soon after, Kevin’s “Guaczilla” stomped in with an even heartier dose of wasabi–as Marissa described it: “That’s just wasabi with a little bit of avocado mixed in.” And while the guac seemed a better fit for clearing up sinuses than as a food to eat for pleasure, the presentation was impressive. Wires, plumbing pipes, duct tape, newspaper and twine formed the body’s structure with guac patted around it–the skin of the avocado served as the skin of the lizard. As a final touch, olives were used as eyes.
Someone (who? I cannot remember.) said that Lauren, Dave and I (but absolutely not Kevin) helped prove that Asian and Mexican flavors can peacefully–no, successfully–co-exist together. Thank you, kind stranger, but words bring little comfort at this time.
Then, all the wasabi guacs met their real match in the alternative category–it’s not fiery flavors people crave after all, it’s sweet. “Guacolate Chip Ice Cream” arrived, a surprisingly light and delicious sweet avocado ice cream (though does using avocados necessarily make it guac? I don’t know….) that was downright refreshing after sampling so many heavy savory guacamoles. I even voted for it.
The ballots cast, Adam announced the winners. Lauren, Dave and I tied for second in the alternative category for our wasabi guacs—I’m surprised we didn’t cancel each other out all together. Here’s how the rest shook out:
Best Tasting, Tradtional: Shahan Sanossian’s unnamed guacamole
Best Tasting, Alternative: “Guacolate Chip Ice Cream,” Steve Shoffner and Lara Minassian
Best Presentation: “Guaczilla,” Kevin Seccia
The Icarus Award (or Most Terrible): “Guacsicles,” Shahan Sanossian
Also of note, Dakota built a fountain of guac, called “Guac Grotto,” by rewiring a chocolate fountain so it wouldn’t heat his thin yogurt-based guacamole. As Graham said, “If a fountain of guac can’t win, I’m out.”
And just because I find it vaguely interesting, here’s what Wikipedia has to say about wasabi: “Wasabi paste bears a superficial resemblance to guacamole, a popular staple of Mexican-style cuisine, a similarity which can lead to an unpleasant surprise for those unfamiliar with Japanese cuisine.” And also: “Wasabi ice cream is a recent but increasingly popular innovation.”
Perhaps next year we can expect a wasabi guacolate chip ice cream? We will see….